Whether you’re crushing on someone or you’ve been in a relationship for years, questions of compatibility are bound to arise. And while there are plenty of great compatibility tests out there (Zodiac, Myers-Briggs types, enneagram numbers, etc.) there are also more concrete ways to evaluate your compatibility with your partner.
Here are 5 important questions to ask your partner when comparing your compatibility:
“Are you in any debt?”
Financial compatibility is an important part of any long-term relationship. While it’s not necessary to have the same amount of money or wealth when entering a relationship, it is important that you and your partner are on the same page about spending patterns and financial risk. If you do not see eye to eye on spending and saving, finances can be a huge source of stress in your relationship.
“What is your love language?”
There are five different love languages that explain how all people express and experience love (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch). It’s important to understand both your love languages so that you are able to support and love each other in your preferred ways.
“Do you have any deal-breakers?”
Taking some time to consider what your deal-breakers are will help you navigate your relationship in the long term. It can be hard to know what your deal-breakers are from the outset, sometimes it takes discovering a deep-seated incompatibility to realize what is actually a deal-breaker for you. But being aware of the ‘musts’ in your relationship will help you and your relationship in the long run.
“What do you think is the perfect balance between your romantic life and your social life?”
It’s important that you both maintain healthy relationships with other people such as friends and family members. Maintaining these relationships requires a certain degree of sociability, and it’s important that you and your partner are open to a similar amount of socializing. If there is a major disconnect between you and your partner about how much socialization you can tolerate/look forward to, it could create problems for your relationship.
“What are your thoughts on polyamory?”
If your partner does not believe that monogamy is possible, and you do, the relationship is NOT going to work in the long run. Because our philosophies are not always for negotiation, philosophical compatibility (or rather, the lack thereof) can be a make or break for many relationships.